:: Bluestarblog ::

:: Monday, July 28, 2003 ::

CNN Beauty Pageant

I pretty much decided some time ago that compared to the news and analysis available online, CNN was and still is a joke. The sociological scatter of community oddities, pop medicine, entertainment tabloid, and diluted political debate all delivered with delicate concern for the tender viewer often makes CNN look too much like infotainment. Satisfying but never filling.

Like any successful corporation however, there are some things CNN does exceptionally well. Over enunciated newspeak accompanied with tantalizing images and clips, tickertape reels that look like the news is being fed to us hot off the press, no-topic-beneath-us diversity of news coverage, and the awesome global reach of their cameras and reporters, from the sewers of Iraq to the nudist beaches of California. CNN is the best in the business.

One not so easily overlooked feature of CNN is the parade of beauty queens that report and deliver the news. For some of these women, concision of delivery, eloquent speech, and topical knowledge is less important than physical and cosmetic appeal. For others, this is the burden of being both good looking and smart. Not so much an issue with males, for too long the female hotties of CNN have been overlooked for their most immediate qualities. In order:

1. Kyra Phillips

The Mary-Ann of Gilligan's newsland - irresistibly cute with the most pleasant demeanor. She dutifully plies her trade in places like Antarctica and Iraq while looking like an unsuspecting model behind the newsdesk. While the long haired and leggy might get the most attention, her shorter hair and inviting voice reinforces her girl next door appeal. This is the one the guys want to marry.

2. Rym Brahimi

From the front lines of battle to the masses of liberated children, how can you resist her trademark candor of fear and urgency? Superficially not a popular pick, her lovely British accent and a pile of education is a seductive contrast to the fact that she reports from one of the world's worst regions. To watch her exiled from Iraq to Jordan just prior to the invasion only added to her damsel in distress image.

3. Christina Park

Beautiful, brainy and Asian. With her weighty background in neuroscience, this one could play either James Bond's exotic sidekick or his deadly foe. Would challenge for the number two spot if seen on TV more.

4. Soledad O'Brien

A perky yet restrained cookie cutter beauty with a dark complexion (half black, half Latino) and an Irish background. Bonus points for that cool first name (it's Spanish for 'solitude') - and great legs! Photos in what looks like some kind of shrine to her here.

5. Paula Zahn

Textbook blue-eyed blonde-haired American beauty. As svelte as Sharon Stone, as insightful as Vanna White. With her alpha female look and a remarkable ability to coast through the most egregious of factual blunders and social discomforts, soccer mom has it all and she knows it.

:: Scot 10:11 PM [+] :: ::
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